The Future Is Now

Tomorrow marks a day of sweeping changes in my life. These past weeks have led up to it... to call them difficult would be an understatement. But as I sit here and watch the sun steadily drop I come to realize, that it has all been a part of a greater plan. I am not the biggest fan of change or the unknown. But I have been opened up to the understanding that both exist and there is no avoiding either.

Amazingly with open arms I find myself in the position to accept them both. Miraculously with this acceptance I have found a "a peace that passes understanding".  I have spent the last couple of days sleeping more soundly than I have in years. The future...MY FUTURE in particular is more full of hope and possibility than I ever could have imagined. My past will give me the ability to endure the challenges and pitfalls that I must overcome.

I am grateful for every struggle that has gotten me to this point. I needed them. I am better because of them. I am beyond determined to rise above it all and be a spectacular woman who lives the rest of her life in grace. It all starts tomorrow. My feet will hit the floor, and I will be ready for it.

To hate or not to hate? That is the question...

I think my most important life lesson to date is that holding on to hatred equals self destruction. You may feel sad and have trouble pressing past it. You may feel anger and have to resolve it. But hatred is not an emotion, it's a decision. I choose to let hatred go.

Can't Get Enough

My neighbor died unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago. Dan was one of the nicest people I've ever met. The embodiment of the proverbial "nice guy".

In talking with his widow, the equally nice Joan, I learned they'd been together since the age of 12. Sixty-two years they spent together. Fifty-four of them, they were married. She looked me in the eyes and said, "I'm lost without him. We were so close. We've spent most of our lives together and I can't believe it's over."

You can love someone so much, that no amount of time with them will ever be enough...

At The End of the Day

We collapse exhausted on a regular basis

There is a question we ask each other regularly

"Why in the world are we doing this?"

The passion, the drive, the motivation just won't die

We press on

We are blessed

We are Lighting

Audio Post...Rambling

http://soundcloud.com/shesonhersoapbox/rambling-at-on-vacation

Fruition

I've always said by the time he's 12 years old, he'll be living with my sister. He made it to 13 before we shipped him off.
I've got a child who is "not easy". He's often referred to as the kind of kid you have to raise everyday. Smart yet unwise (not that youth and wisdom go together). Friendly but to a fault, as friends can distract him from what's important. Strong willed but it often slides into the realm of stubbornness. The bottom line is has the potential for greatness, with the ability to make a huge mess of his life. And, he walks a fine line.
Thankfully I have a sister who is cut from the same cloth. Our mother has spent the last 13 years looking him in the face calling him by my sister's name. He'd get so confused when he was younger. "How can she confuse me with a girl" , he'd say. "Because you act JUST like her", I'd reply.
I didn't want to send him. My husband didn't want to send him. But we did. It takes more than parents to mold a well rounded successful child. We have to seek out others who can give valid input. We have to find others who care enough to invest a positive impact.
I'm looking forward to input when it's time for him to come home. I'm prayerful that he will walk away with a mind to choose success. God knows he has enough people in his corner, willing to help him get there.

Birthday Blog

I have a birthday coming up in just a few short days. As another year in my life comes to a close, I find myself in a place of reflection. I am thankful to be growing older. Many who started out life's journey with me are no longer here. I plan to wear my age and my life experiences with pride. What I have been through, makes me the person I am today. I am far from perfection. But who I am, is a person who has been tried by fire, yet refuses to close my heart. I will actively and openly love others and perform my life's work with passion, persistence, and excellence.

It's easy to get discouraged. Disappoints arise, and by now I truly understand that life is not fair. However, I am thankful for the realization that love, positivity, and spirituality are a better way of life.  The hardships that effect me negatively may change who I am, yet I still have a say in who I am becomING. I have learned the power of 3 little letters "ING".  I throw those 3 letters in a lot of my circumstances to remind myself that my journey is process. My biggest failures and worst mistakes, are yielding a better person as the dust of past drama settles. Call it a quest for redemption, or attempts for penance if you will. But I am making good of what has gone terribly wrong whenever I can. What I have been through, what I am going through, and who I develop into are happening step by step. Thus, I must stay actively engaged and make proactive choices and decisions.

I have learned to look for the good in even the worst of situations. I have learned to hold dear to the people who love you unconditionally. I have learned to forgive people who hurt you. But I have also learned to steer clear from them. The saying is true....Hurt people, hurt people...think on that..... I have learned that there is nothing that can break the bond of love. When you love someone it is forever. I have learned that you have to stay true to the very essence of yourself. Anyone who wants you to be someone other than yourself can kick rocks! Be who you are...just be the best you that you can be.  I have learned not to judge others so harshly. There are so many facets to life of others we don't have insight to. Life is messy. Many people take action based on circumstances that you couldn't even imagine. Someone else living life in a way that you don't approve of does not make necessarily a bad person. We all have ONE judge. You're not it. Keep your finger and your nose out of other people's business, and keep working on the mess in your own life. I have learned that if I am the smartest person in the room, then it's time to broaden my horizons. I need to be the least smart person in a group, and stretch my capacity. I have learned that I am not an adrenaline junky. My impulsive quest to live life to the fullest is rooted in curiosity. What I am is an accomplishment junky. I want to do what others don't expect is possible (at least not possible from me) and do it better than they can imagine. Most importantly I am learnING the importance of fluidity. Like the fact that these guiding principles in which I operate will continue to adjust and expound in the future.

I'm hopeful that what's left of my years will be more fulfilling than where I started out, or where I've been. I'm pouring my energy into making that happen. Faith and love abound in my soul. Even that is a comeuppance from the regret, insecurity, and discontent which previously inhabited my being. Thanks so much for coming to take a peek at blog. Feel free to stop by anytime. :)