Friday, May 22, 2015

It Is What It Is...Or Is It?

"You're going to be fat. Your whole family is fat." "Cancer runs in your family. That's how you'll die too." "_______ runs in our family. There's no avoiding it."

I have always been disenfranchised and un-accepting of the words spoken to me of my impending future struggles in life. I acknowledge heredity and family history, predispositions exist. However when it comes to anything I do not willing accept, I steeled my mind to kick against the pricks and fight for a different outcome than what was expected.

I can't say that I am surprised at test results that I have received from my doctor lately. I will however say that I am disappointed. I have worked hard for different outcomes in my life than family history suggests. So a phone call asking me to come in for further testing due to negative results were most unwelcome.

My preparation to go back into the office to get my results was almost surreal. As I showered and readied myself to go, for a brief moment as I looked into the mirror I swore I saw my mother 20 years ago preparing herself in the same way. I did not see myself looking like my mother. I literally saw my mother. I can now relate to her feelings of trepidation. My respect for her ability to fight back fear and face things was solidified and gave me the strength I needed to press past my emotions and deal with my situation.

I still say it's better to not to accept that you MUST go the same course as relatives that go before you. I still contend that you use everything in your arsenal to set yourself up to live a high quality life. I still say that if you find yourself on the same inherent path that your elders have walked before you, take control and make independent decisions. However wisdom is teaching me that against all preparations and alterations you may still end up where you don't want to be. Face it. Deal with it. Then open both barrels and unload your entire cache of ammunition if you have to. Fight to live, and live to fight another day. Peace and love friends.