Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Forward and Free

I find myself moving on to my next level of progress. It's been a while since I came to the revelation that it's time to move forward in many areas of my life. It was a much needed transition, and it has been an overwhelmingly positive journey this far. I have moved beyond processing past baggage. I've let go of regrets, guilt, and the emotions that accompany them. I can't remember a time in my adult life when I have felt this level of peace.

I also feel something that I have always maintained was a constant for me has changed. I used to tell people that if you knew me in the past, you know me still. The foundation of who I am is the same. I can say with certainty that I am no longer the same person. I am ok with that. I am actually happy about it. I needed to change. I'll be better for the transitions I am making mentally, spiritually, and even physically. I am looking forward to learning more about what I am capable of. 

The Queen of Emotion had an additional revelation a couple of days ago. If I am moving forward mentally, then why and I holding on to possession that tie me to my past. I've had the tendency to assign sentiment to even the most mundane of objects. I was not ready for a visit from a reality TV intervention specialist. But it was definitely time to let go of 20 plus years of baggage that I had assigned so much sentimental value and worth to. I am not living in the past. I am not attached to my past. Why was I holding on to so many artifacts from the past? I had no valid reason to hold on to so many things associated to a past that I have let go of. I have life lessons good and bad and scars physical and mental that I will carry with me forever. A couple of journals, a few photos, and momentos from the most significant events in my life will suffice. 

 Removing the physical items that were associated with things I have already let go of should have been a no brainer. But, I have been tripping over them and looking at them for so long that I almost didn't even see them any more. A strange thing happened as I began to purge these ancient artifacts. I began to feel more and more happy. My spirit felt freer and lighter. The more I cleaned and removed these old symbols of importance and sentiment the better I felt. I was smiling and throwing things away simultaneously. There is no emotion tied to an artifact of a past event you have moved on from. Hence there is no stress or upset in letting those things go.

Those 2 bags I originally took a picture of when I decided to blog this, actually multiplied. I bagged some things to donate. I hope someone finds them useful. I imagine they will go on assign their own personal totally different meaning and sentiment to it. Other things, even if they were functional and perhaps could be of use went straight into the trash. It is time for those things to rot and decompose. I will take comfort in knowing everything associated with it is over. That statement may read as aggressive or angry. I feel none of that as I type. I simply mean to say some things need to come to an end and everything associated with it should go away also.  

I don't know why it took me so long to figure out that I needed to purge my environment in accompaniment with moving forward in life. Nonetheless I won't spend time fretting or over-analzing. It all happened as it should. I have heard that you can't be open to obtaining new things if you're still holding on to something. I have watched things that I am working on and towards have fallen in line as such. I think there is validity and truth to that statement. It's really blowing my mind. As good as I feel while I am awake, I must admit I am having crazy vivid unrestful dreams. I will do the research on them and try to figure out what they mean. But I am resolute in my path, and happy to be on it. 

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