Challenge Accepted

My world was turned upside-down a few days ago. There's nothing like the sudden untimely death of a loved one to bring your world to a screeching halt. As fate would have it, this happened during a time when I'd already began taking stock of where I am with 2015's accomplishments and failures. I guess I can only be thankful that I was open mentally and spiritually to hear and accept all truths. When life throws you for a loop, and then jams leaving you hanging upside down, don't react to it. Accept it and then figure out the proper way to get yourself turned right side up again. So that's what I'm in the process of doing right now. I'm not going to struggle. I'm going to hang here and figure out the best way to move forward when I'm back on my feet. I trust the truths I'm leaning will only bless and enhance my future. After all death is a part of life. It's how you handle death and the aftermath thereof that matters. I'll be fine. I'll gain insight. Life will go on. And God knows I'll be grateful once I'm standing tall ready to proceed.

BOOM...Breakthrough

I've made enough mistakes for 2 people... maybe even 3. It's been a decades long struggle to get over some of them. Today suddenly I'm ok. With all of it. I am suddenly ready to let go and move on with my life. The life I've chosen. The life I'm actively building. A life I want. Just like that. I won't pretend that this has been an easy journey. Even years ago when I decided when I was ready for a change. When I began to make strides toward letting go of the things in my past. It was a struggle. Cutting strings, letting go, reassigning the level of significance of previously important people and experiences, has caused me to redefine my life. I can finally say it's been worth it. I can finally say I love myself enough to have a fulfilling life. I'd list everything I've done to get to this point. But it's a journey that looks different for everyone. My hope for everyone is that they love themselves enough to do the same. Peace and love friends.

New Game Plan

A war between my heart and my mind continues. I think it's high time my mind prevails. You can only follow the heart so long, garner the same results, and continue to take the same course of action. It's time I take a logical approach, because the heart wants what it wants, but it doesn't always work out.

It's time for me to do what I do best. Come up with a systematic, well thought out plan. A plan that will hopefully lead to the freedom I want/need to be truly happy. Can a heart that's been broken countless times even love and find happiness? I don't know but it's time to find out.

Wow

My emotions have surfaced and are very raw friends. I'm not even sure what to do with them right now. I need a still quiet place with no hope of retreat anytime soon. Send me positive thoughts and good vibrations please xoxo....

Overflow

So many of my posts over the past year have been laced with strife. I am so relieved to be in a place of manifold blessings right now! Life has it's ups and downs. We all spend time in the valley, and on the mountain top. Your struggles and disappointments make the good times so much sweeter. I am filled with nothing short of gratitude and elation in this moment. Today's club accomplishments and victories were the bonuses of the favorable place we find ourselves in these days. Goals are being accomplished. Visions are coming to pass. The foundation of a legacy is being sured up. Our "gifts are making room for us" just as we can expect. Be blessed friends I KNOW I am :)

A Series of Boxes

It's wondrous to think that a person's life can be so often be reduced to a series of boxes. Collecting memories and experiences has become more important to me than collecting tangible objects. But that doesn't mean that I don't recognize, that when my life form is reduced to little more than a vapor, the material things I leave behind will be what many people will remember me for. I hope to have amassed a few things that are intriguing to the average eye. Living a life of purpose means obtaining objects that hopefully tell the story of the life you built. 

But as I fill these boxes I continue to see and understand that what has been important in the past is much less important now. When it's time to gather those objects that  matter most, I am in awe of what things transition with me. Who I am, is not who I was. Who I will become is a mystery. An exciting prospect considering I spent so many years trying to become who I wanted to be. It appears I will become who I am supposed to be. I appreciate the feedback of those around me who observe my life principles. I'm learning to accept what is laid before me. I'm on a quest to seek knowledge and wisdom in any given circumstance. By opening myself up to the life intended for me, I now experience less drama, less sorrow, less stress, more love, more peace, and more happiness. There's less of everything I have struggled to avoid, and more of everything I always sought. 

The results are manifesting into the physical realm of the "things" you see around me. I hope my story to those who will judge me by what they see after I am no more, represents a woman they would have wanted to know. A woman that they can learn from even though she is not there to pass on advice or examples. Blessings friends...live well xoxo.

Pause

Sooooo this is me trying to collect myself this afternoon before going to work. I've got 4 kids in 4 schools this year. Just getting everyone out the door in the morning is a three and a half hour process! The madness that is my life right now, refuses to allow me to find an organized rhythm. I've got at least 4 amazing blogs bouncing around in my scull that I don't have time to write. Apparently I had time for a photo shoot though. It took at least 10 attempts to capture an image that didn't make me look like death warmed over :) As crazy as things are, I am constantly amazed as disappointments are transformed into blessings.  God's hand is in my life. When I can't rejoice for my circumstances I can at least give Him thanks for answering my most common petition. "Lord bless my mess!"