Saturday, June 9, 2012


So I guess this years birthday is what is known as a landmark. I'm feeling very good about it. Coming up on this year, I have been bombarded with so many life lessons. I've had lessons on friendship, love, parenting, marriage, faith. You name the challenge, it happened to me!

I started checking the mirror for gray hair just because there were times I felt so stressed. I thought surely this is going to start aging me. Luckily, I appear to be some type of genetic freak like my mother and grandmother. The older they get the further away from their actual age they look. People regularly guess my mother to be in her 40's. It's nothing for someone to assume she is 15 years younger than she actually is. My husband said to me the other day, "You promised to grow old with me, but your not aging." How sweet is he?!? We know in the grand scheme of life looking youthful is not that big of a deal. It still feels good though! :)

At any rate, my hot date took me on a lovely train tour for my birthday. As we wound though the beautiful countryside, I sat and reflected on my life and all of the circumstances that have shaped me into who I currently am:

The road I have traveled has been bumpy at times. But I would be an ungrateful idiot to act like it hasn't been a really really good life. I have learned to focus on what I have right now. I have learned to truly appreciate it. If I'm not happy with what I have, why would I be happy with the next thing I am chasing? Please don't confuse my words with settling. It's important to have goals in life. It's important to climb upward and stretch the limits of your talent and live the best way you know how. However, that is not the way many people are living their life right now. 

I see people chasing titles just to say they have it. Yet, the title provide no sense of fulfillment. I see people chasing money so they can buy whatever they want. But they are too tired to enjoy what they have. They ignore their loved ones and miss out on important life events for the sake of raking in dollars. They show off material goods that they soon tire of just to say that they have it, or had it first. I see people associating with others because society says that person, or that crowd is desirable. Yet they have little or no connection with said person(s) and are completely unfulfilled and lonely. What kind of life is that? 

I only have this one shot at life. I get it right sometimes. Other times I totally mess up. But I refused to be unhappy, distracted, and WASTE my time, energy, resources, and most importantly my heart. If it's not going to edify me, I'm not going to be bothered with it. There was a time in which I would throw away all of the aforementioned things on that list to get what I thought I wanted. That time was called my youth. I am not longer that. 

My level of life satisfaction is currently higher than it's been....well, ever actually. I finally FEEL grown and confident. I feel like I have a good understanding of myself. I feel knowledge transitioning into wisdom in certain areas of life. Although, I am wise enough to know that I actually know very little. I am wise enough to know to seek out the guidance of others who know more than me and can counsel and give me greater perspective.

Life is full of unknown variables and unforeseen circumstances. I'm no longer trying to control so many aspects of it. I just want to be prepared and have available to me the resources I need to deal with what comes my way. I believe that just like the train I was riding, I'm "on the right track." Although I can only see so far ahead, I have confidence I am going where I'm supposed to go. 

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