A Good Relationship is Like Girdle

     A good relationship is like a girdle. It supports you and holds you up during the most important occasions of your life. I can think of few things more precious than a healthy reciprocated relationship. One hopes this is what they can expect from the people they call family. Often times we hear more negative reports on family members than positive ones. I wonder why this is. I have come across a bit of family drama lately. One particular member has found herself in a tremendous amount of trouble. Although she has an abundance of brothers and sisters, and her parents are still alive, my household sat down to see how we could help. That's what family does. In my opinion, family should not only pull together in times of adversity, we should just generally love and support each other in all aspects of life. That's my goal. That's what I want. That's what I am trying to instill in the delicate minds I am responsible for shaping. I just wish I had a bit of support from my, oh I don't know.....my family!
     It's a sad day when you realize that people who don't have to be in your life, are willing to do more for you than people who are connected whether they like it or not. It was an ongoing lesson that I was reminded of several times this week. The first incident had me so spitting mad I could not see straight. But the second occurrence did little more than put the nail in the coffin of my paradigm shift. That shift being the realization family are not always who you can turn to when you really need help.
     I had a very in depth conversation with my Significant Other yesterday. We came to the conclusion that henceforth we will surround ourselves with, and work on establishing deep and meaningful relationships with the people who love and care about us most regardless of the bloodline. We are fortunate to have had some caring genuine people cross our paths. People who are dependable and love and care for no other reason than the fact that they choose to. They don't have to care. They don't have support. They are under no obligation or alliance established by anything other than love, and a desire to do so. They are called friends. I know that this is cliche but friends are the family you get to choose. It's true, and right now it's my silver lining.

Settling vs Acceptance

I am very randomly pondering the ideals of accepting circumstances in life. I think there has been a huge movement in American society to never settle for anything. You should always go after what you want and not be sidetracked. We do after all have a very individualized society when you compare it to other cultures. I suppose over the years the slogans have changed  but the ideology is the same. Some I can think of are 1) Be all the me I can be [that was a Saturday morning commercial adage meant to motivate kids] 2) Get 'er dun 3) and perhaps the most recent "do you". The meaning behind all of these mottos, I think, is the same. You are important and should get, and/or do what you think is important. I am wondering and perhaps leaning towards thinking we have gone a bit too far with that line of thinking. It seems as if perhaps we have become so self-centered  that we care less about the big picture and how it will affect others that we are close to. I have seen people so focused on their careers, education, material wants etc...that they will ignore or neglect the people that life's finer things are meant to be shared with.
It's time to stop step back and look at the whole picture. There is a time to simply accept some of your life circumstances. That's especially important, if where we want to be will cause unwanted effects on the other people in our life. It's time to reorganize and prioritize and set goals TOGETHER.  No man is an island. And when you finally get to where you're going you need to have someone there to sit and sip your tropical smoothie with.

Service

I'm kind of wondering what happened to service fields and the concept of public service in America. We all know the entire political system is in the toilet. But I am seeing a trend amongst all service positions that is really starting to get on my nerves. I got a letter home from school from my children's teachers. The stated that my parent-teacher conference times with them.  The teachers had chosen and given to me. One of the times was at 3:15. The other time was 5:00. Either teacher had obviously conferred with each other to see if the could sink up timing with each other or me. They just expected me to find sitters that could stay with my children multiple different times and then spend gas that has sky-rocketed to well beyond $3 a gallon to drive back and forth to the school 4 times. That's not to mention that my children would barely make it through the door before I had to be at the first appointment. I'm sure it was not a conspiracy to make things difficult for me. However, that doesn't excuse the fact that it was an epic failure in moving in the best interest of the people in which educators are supposed to serve. Standard protocol has always been to request 3 different times in order of preference in which the parent is available to meet. Now suddenly we are being assigned times without so much as our input? I think my response was legitimate and appropriate. In short my answer was...nope. I feel like this, if we're going to meet, than it will be at a mutually agreeable time. That's not a revolutionary concept, it's actually the original concept! The method of operation wasn't broken for me so there was nothing to fix. What's worse is that one teacher who I ended up having a phone conference with only reported the grades to me that I actually have access to online. Nothing more nothing less. I'll call it divine intervention that I did not inconvenience myself by finding a babysitter and going down to the school to meet with her. I'm not sure I could have kept the conversation respectable.
     I'm rambling now. I just needed to get this all off my chest. Public Service used to mean you were taken into the public trust to help members of society. You were funded by them [the public] to take care of their business. Anymore the public sector takes it's cues from the private sector. Secrecy, privacy, and somehow what seems like profitability even if it's not monetary gain now rule the public sector also. With little more than laws and statutes that are now being ignored or eradicated altogether, I predict things will get worse until people stand up and define terms that are once again agreeable for them and them hold workers to it.

How Far is Far Enough

     I have been working on another post for weeks now and I fear that it may be "overdone". I may very well end up scrapping that one because it feels contrived at this point. Anyway, I have something else on my mind now. I don't always look for feedback, but if anyone ever takes the time to read this post and would like to respond, I could sure use some feedback.
     I know, I know elbows and opinions everybody's got them. I don't normally ask for anyone's opinion because I have my own. Let's consider this more of a qualitative research project. Your input will be up for analysis. *I smile*
     I am just kind of at my wits end concerning on of my loved ones. I feel like this young man is full of potential, but is letting it all go to waste. I know that in life we have our own choices to make and everyone we come across is a mere influence. I do my best to be a positive influence to everyone I am around. But, how many times do you step in and repeat yourself and try and influence someone with little or no interest in doing their best. I search for answers, talk until I am blue in the face, go out of my way to support and under gird etc... However, most of the time when I try to drop the little bird from the nest and say 'fly', the bird starts a spiraling descent straight for the ground.
    I don't want to be so legalistic and methodical that I end up doing things like giving a person 3 tries or 5 tries and then wash my hands of a situation. At the same time, I don't want to feel as if I am spending so much effort on one person that I neglect myself and the other people in my life. I'm not sure if there are proper answers to this situation. I just needed to get it off my chest.  So there you have it. Calling all opinionated know it all persons! Step right up!!!

Valentine's Day Message

     I have been reading articles and posts and tweets and blogs about the praises and woes of the Valentines holiday all day long. Please allow me to step upon my soapbox and weigh in on the situation.
     Men: Like it or hate it the vast majority of women are looking for a certain set of things on this occasion. If she's a keeper, and your serious about her please consider my input. A woman that loves you wants a thoughtful genuine expression of your love. That's all! If your broke and she's with you anyway, she's most likely not looking for you to break the bank on her. Be creative, use the information that you know and love about her, and do something meaningful. Honestly, that's it. She will love it. If she doesn't drop her because she is not the girl for you.
     That being said. If you have a girl in your life that you're not that into, you should have dumped her after Christmas. Man that sounds rough but it is true. Since you didn't and your still dealing with her, you have to do something nice for her. Don't do anything that's going to keep her too attached. You still need to let her go. Start preparing her for it. Deep down she already knows it. But it's your duty to treat her with some respect and do something nice. I'd go for a card that's not too romantic, take the funny route, and some candy. And for goodness sakes get things shut down before Easter!
     Your lady knows what YOU want. You are the first to admit that you are fairly simple creatures. Think on my suggestions. If things aren't going your way, give them a try, I'll bet it will help.



    

About Love

So I started out this Valentine's weekend at a funeral. Then came home to settle down to a gut wrenching movie about how true love can basically KILL you. I gotta admit it's having a tremendous effect on my psyche (not to mention my libido). I'm doing my best to open my mind, find the positives, and look at the big picture. But, quite frankly, I'm in a bit of a funk. I know this post is the exact opposite of my last one on happiness *shrugs* but that's where I'm at at this particular moment. Today I feel like life no matter how hard you plan and try is just difficult. Is love worth the pain we go through to experience it? Where should we set the boundaries of how far is far enough to go for love? Does the equal portion of how much you hurt because of love compared to the love you feel for someone have a limit? That kind of makes makes the whole I love you to death cliche less theoretical and more realistic doesn't it. As frustrated as I feel about all of this right now, my experiences with loved ones leads me to one frustrating but overwhelming conclusion as to whether or not love is worthwhile .....YES. *deep sigh*

Happily Ever After

     I am in the midst of a total paradigm shift concerning my thoughts on happiness. Growing up anymore is a complicated process. Earlier than ever there are so many pressures put on us. Kids are distracted about how they look. Schools start to apply pressure about the importance of grades and how they affect you long into the future. The materialistic society teaches them that if you don't have the latest, greatest biggest, and best, then life is basically not worth living. I recognize all of these things when I think rationally. However, my current revelation is that they were all in effect during my formative years. I guess on some level I realized it then. But I am just now stepping back and seeing how that effected who I am today.
         Throughout the years I have been very reflective on removing unhappiness from my life. I have always agreed with the cliche that life is too short. I certainly think it's too short to live unhappy. Therefore, I have routinely identified things and people in my life that have been a source of displeasure and tried to remedy the situation. If there was no viable solution to the problem then at that point I felt it was best to move on.  I guess that my most recent revelation is that avoiding unhappiness does not mean that you are going to be happy. For a long time I had settled for not being unhappy, and now I realize that's a lower standard of living. It's not good enough anymore.
     Happiness, like love is multi-faceted. There is work involved to get there. It's a journey. But just like in love when you stand back and look at it. When you think of all that you had to go through to obtain it. It's worth it. From now on I choose happiness.